when you least expect it...

The Lord blessed me recently with the gift of insight. Over the years I was always so jealous of my sister's relationship with my dad. He always treated her like a princess, buying her things, being so cute and gentle. And me...well, I thought he was kinda tough on me. Then the other day when I was driving, and thinking about all these things, the Lord laid upon my heart that I had gotten the best gift of all...Dad's time. I think most of the time he really thought of me as a son, and that's what he raised me to be. I didn't have tea parties or play dress up, instead I learned how to work hard and get dirty. For example, he took me to Topeka on the weekends one summer to help his friend rebuild a house. I spent that summer chucking sheet rock and boards out a window into a dumpster. In the mornings before going to work we would sit out by the pond and fish. We didn't really talk about anything, just sit...and just enjoy the company. Another summer I worked in Eldorado with Dad wiring a house. I pulled wire and hung electrical boxes. It was hard work. But ya know, I really didn't mind...I actually liked it. He even told me one day that I had worked harder than most men he worked with. I didn't realize until recently what a compliment that was. Besides working, we camped, fished, I learned how to fix things, mow, split wood, change tires, how to properly throw a football, etc. There was even this time in Jr. High when a boy grabbed my rear, and I turned around and punched him in the eye. (BTW that boy and I became terrific friends, I really wasn't some kind of boy hating meaner). However, my dad LOVED telling that story...over the years it even became somewhat of a tall tale. Instead of just a black eye...I knocked that boy out. He loved anything rough and tough. I have to admit, to this day I still love watching anything from John Wayne to Steven Segall. Give me a good ole' spaghetti western with Clint Eastwood anyday!

Thank you Lord for showing me that even though I wasn't a princess I was loved and I did make my dad proud. Thank you for giving me the gift of time! Thank you for giving me strength (that I didn't even know I had) to help get us through our darkest time. My heart still aches, and I miss dad so much! It's comforting to know though...I will see him again someday.

I just want to add that my mom is just a special. She has taught me many things too. This isn't about just me really, the entire family is still struggling with his passing. I have just been thinking so much of him lately. I can't believe he's been gone almost one year. Anyways, I just wanted to share what I have learned.